I will have to live with mental health issues for the rest of my life. It’s been hard, but I’ve come to accept that they’re part of me, and there’s no cure, only management.
It means that many of my dreams are no longer realistic. Unless I get myself REALLY stable, I can’t go into teaching like I’ve wanted to do since high school. My dreams of being an academic in the university system seem almost out of reach, given how much I struggle now. I don’t know if they’ll ever come back.
It’s time for new dreams and ambitions. I have to find a new path, and I don’t know where to start. I’ve been working toward the goal of either teaching or academia for several years, and looking elsewhere is difficult.
The one thing I desperately want to do with my life is to find a way to improve the mental health system, so that people like me have a better chance at living a normal life. I don’t know how, I don’t know where to start, but I’ll find something.
Someone has to stand up and make the changes happen. I want to be that someone. I’ll find a way some day.