One of the most troublesome side effects of my current medication combo is the way it affects my sleeping patterns. It doesn’t seem to matter when I take them or when I go to bed, I’m just not awake before half past nine at the earliest, and I’m groggy for a couple of hours after that. Taking them late (past around 7pm) or going to bed late (past 10pm) means that I sleep even later.
It messes with a lot of things. I have two kids to get off to school every morning – and I haven’t done that in months. My partner does that because I sleep right through it. Whenever I make an appointment I have to try really hard to get it in the afternoon, because if it’s in the morning there’s a good chance that I’ll make no sense and remember nothing of it. This will be a challenge when exam time comes around, as both of my exams this semester are in the morning.
The other end of the day is another problem. Once I’ve taken my meds, I slowly start zoning out. It’s not as bad as it was when I first started taking them, but I still get sleepy very early and lose my ability to concentrate on things properly. This used to be when I was most productive and got a lot done on my Uni work, but now I’m trying to fit it in around what my meds to do my mind. If I try to study in the evenings, I often find the next day that I remember nothing.
The medication I’m on is changing everything I am. I’m not able to be social – it takes a very special event to get me out in the evening, because it writes off the next day. My window of opportunity to get things done is between about midday and eight or nine pm. In that time, I have to be a student, a mother, a writer, and a person. I don’t often get done all I need to do. It’s distressing – but the other option is worse. Without these meds I didn’t leave the couch for months on end, and got nothing done, instead of not enough done. The difference is big – but it’s still bad the way it is.
I hope that my appointment with the doc next week helps to change this. I feel like I’m sleeping my life away.