Coming Forward About Rape

Telling someone you were raped is hard. It’s often too hard, and victims hide it away. One of the big reasons is because the victim feels like they wouldn’t be believed.

The statistics are all over the place, but it seems that somewhere around 2-8% of rape allegations are false. That leaves the vast majority of allegations as true.

Since I was raped, I told three friends about what happened. One was immediately sympathetic – he had never met the rapist, and he was solidly on my side. He supported me immediately, listened, and helped me feel safe again.

The other two people I told both knew the rapist. And their first reactions were almost identical – they accepted that it was ‘my side of the story’ but didn’t accept that it was rape. They wanted to know his side. I kind of get that – no-one wants to think that a friend could be a rapist. But I was opening up a terrible wound, and the salt poured in it stung.

The automatic response when someone says they were raped is too often doubt. It makes it hard to speak up about it. It makes me feel doubly assaulted – first physically, and then mentally as I try to process the idea that people simply don’t believe me.

People don’t cry rape often. And people who have been raped deserve your support. Doubting them makes their experience so much more painful.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Coming Forward About Rape

  1. purplegr3mlin

    I’m not liking this because it happened, I’m liking it on the end words. I get upset when people cry rape, it makes you suspicious of everything. But I can’t help but feel sympathy (as much as I hate sympathy – I prefer empathy) towards the people that have experienced it. It… it just upsets me a lot.

    I’m sorry you had to go through, not only it, but the friends. I can understand being in disbelief, but… 😦

    Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  2. Carrie Lange

    hugs to you dear, for what you had to go through! sounds like you’ve had to put up with a lot of doubt from people and that’s so unfortunate. thank you for sharing your story, it will inspire others! 😉

    Reply
  3. Amelia

    This post is close to home for me. Thank you again for all of your posts. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, and I empathise.

    Reply
  4. Keith

    “The statistics are all over the place, but it seems that somewhere around 2-8% of rape allegations are false. That leaves the vast majority of allegations as true.”
    That’s a dangerous assumption because of the way they collect statistics. 2-8% of allegations are surrounded with evidence suggesting they’re false. That doesn’t mean that 92-98% of allegations are surrounded with evidence suggesting they’re true.

    That being said, I sympathize with whatever hell you’re going through.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s