You see them all the time on the internet. Little throwaway remarks like “Don’t worry, be happy”, or “Only you can let yourself be happy”, or “Happiness is a choice you make every day”. They may seem meaningful to those who post them, I suppose. But to me they just don’t sit well.
I can’t wake up in the morning and choose to be happy. My brain just doesn’t work like that. Some days will be better than others, but I can’t really control that. I can try and do my best with whatever I’m dealt each day, but there’s no way I can just go ‘I want to be happy today, so I’m going to be’. I can do all the right things and still have a bad day, or everything in the world can attack me and I’ll still feel good at the end of it. It’s so unpredictable.
Those little trite sayings make me feel worse on a bad day. Like I’m at fault for not being all sunshine and rainbows. Like I should be able to control my mood, like I’m just not doing the right things to be happy. I know I’m just doing the best I can with the mind I live in, but when I’m in a bad place those words thrown out there so easily drag me down.