A nasty thing about depression, coupled with medication side effects, is that even a good day can be bad. Take today, for example.
It was bacon-and-eggs day, so my partner made a cooked breakfast for all of us, and it was good. Some basic chores done, and then the kids and I went to pick my mum up from the airport. We had lunch together, did some groceries, came home, and my partner made dinner. A good day.
But now, I feel exhausted. My head is thumping, my body feels drained. Typing is an effort. I’m on autopilot. And I feel like I’m going to burst into tears at any moment. Even though I had a good day, I’m still not doing well, and being active seems to have hurt more than it’s helped.
I don’t have a solution for this. Hiding away from the world and not going out makes it easier to cope, makes me feel less drained. But it’s not good for me. Or something.
All I want is to be well again. To be normal. But I’m not winning today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.