First Tentative Steps

I’m going out tonight. It will be the first social event of any kind in the last couple of months, and the first party since last August (I think). It’s been a very long time.

I’m nervous, excited, scared. It’s not a big deal, a friend’s birthday, but to me it’s taken on some fairly hefty significance. Firsts after a period of depression feel pretty big for me.

I’m choosing not to drink, primarily because I live in a location not served by public transport, so I will be driving, and those two never mix. Not ever. I’ve been sober at most of the parties I’ve been to over the last year or so, because I drive. It changes the feel of it though. The social lubricant sometimes helps with the nervousness I feel in groups of people.

This is both a small thing, and a Very Big Deal. I hope it goes smoothly.

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