I’m going out tonight. It will be the first social event of any kind in the last couple of months, and the first party since last August (I think). It’s been a very long time.
I’m nervous, excited, scared. It’s not a big deal, a friend’s birthday, but to me it’s taken on some fairly hefty significance. Firsts after a period of depression feel pretty big for me.
I’m choosing not to drink, primarily because I live in a location not served by public transport, so I will be driving, and those two never mix. Not ever. I’ve been sober at most of the parties I’ve been to over the last year or so, because I drive. It changes the feel of it though. The social lubricant sometimes helps with the nervousness I feel in groups of people.
This is both a small thing, and a Very Big Deal. I hope it goes smoothly.