Some people

you look at and rather wish you didn’t know them. Example of the day: A young man who wrote a group off as ‘fuckn gay cunts’. admittedly, he did it over a joke image of a creme egg being held by someone’s butt-cheeks, with the usual ‘how do you eat yours?’ tagline, so in a way it was a logical idea. But those words are much more than a reaction to a single image. They carry a layer of meaning beyond the immediate reaction.

This young man is blatantly homophobic. I’ve known him for thirteen or fourteen years, and he’s been painfully homophobic all that time. He displays it without much in the way of prodding, and he makes no apologies for it. He’s a bit of a caveman. With a daughter. Crap.

The phrase itself is a brutal one. It’s one of the most hurtful phrases that can be used toward gay people, especially from a homophobe. It doesn’t seem to have quite the same impact on straight people, and I think it’s because it’s an attempt to smear a straight person, rather than a condemnation of their entire identity.

It’s an ugly slur. I wish it was dying out, that it wasn’t the go-to phrase to hurt gay people, and to write off straight people. I have no idea what it means to the in-betweens, to be honest. To me it’s infuriating rather than hurtful, because really, how dare anyone be so bigoted? People can and should be better than that. Perhaps we need more thirteen-year-old feminists to catch these people before they’re too set in their ways.

I wish I didn’t know people like this. I wish that I could look at my old school classes and know that the people in them all turned out to be decent human beings. I know I was an iffy prospect that turned out ok, but then I didn’t have a family that allowed hate speech (or any speech, but that’s a different matter). What the father models bigotry, there’s not a lot of hope for the kids.

I’m raising my kids to be better than this. Hating and fearing another group of people for their race, or their sexuality, or their gender identity is not acceptable in my house, and it should not be acceptable outside it either.

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