Three days out

Three days out from a hysterectomy and sleepless nights abound. Musings on my future surround me.

I’ve laid so many plans so many times. This time perhaps they will come to fruition in a way that will nourish my family for the future. Laying out each piece, twisting and turning it until it fits just so. Watching them occasionally be knocked sideways and sometimes fly off the table, gathering up new ones to fit in their place. Life.

My hope going forward is that this surgery will ease my pain. I have been in near constant pain for years now, but a combination of surgery, physio and neuromodulators should help tremendously. Scans show fairly severe adenomyosis and bowel adhesions, and removing and releasing those should give me a new lease on life.

Looking to the next few days, I will have surgery under Auckland’s level 2 rules. That means one named visitor may visit me in hospital. Not the small selection of people I had hoped would be able to be there to support me, but not a total lockdown scenario at least. I have a wonderful support person coming in each day, and good people keeping the moving parts of my life going while I’m in hospital.

Coming home will be interesting. I hope that it goes smoothly. I have refrained from reading horror stories online as they will just create worry. I have exercised and nourished my body as best I can. The one thing I have not done is rested. Apparently I am incapable of that!

Recovery will be a process that cannot be rushed. I only have the chance to heal right once, and I’m going to do it properly. Follow guidelines to the letter. Be gentle on myself. Prioritise myself. Stop laughing in the cheap seats!

If you can offer moral or practical support please be in touch. This is a big thing to go through and I don’t know how it will go. Hold me in your thoughts.